Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
