i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize