I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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