Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
