are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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