She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
