i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
