I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
