Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Randomize
