Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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