There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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