Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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