Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
