All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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