How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
