Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
