She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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