I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
