Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
