somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
