So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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