Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
