dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
