CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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