Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
