it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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