i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
