If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
