I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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