But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
