Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
