OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
