Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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