So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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