Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
