OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
