At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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