I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
