Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
