Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
