I am in a vortex of obligation.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
