I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize