if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
