So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
