just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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