my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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