You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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