Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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