I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
