Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
