We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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