I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
