i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize