Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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