Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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