So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize