My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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