And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
