we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
