you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
