around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
