we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
