wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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