someone threw a dead crab at me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
